This One Is For My Girls...

Ella Beans turns 6 on Friday. I can't even believe I am typing that sentence because it can't be true. And yes, birthdays turn into week long events. Beans is making big plans over here. For me, turning 6 is huge because 5 is still a baby. Baby hands, baby feet, baby teeth. Silliness. So much silliness. There's still so much baby there. So my heart breaks a little more with each milestone birthday but Ella's is a special one because while it breaks, it also grows with love and gratitude that I am blessed with these two amazing women in my life...And so I like to celebrate this woman too.

When I was 4 months pregnant with Beans, my mom, my best friend in the whole wide world was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

It rocked our family and it changed who we are in so many ways.

While she wanted so badly to enjoy every bit of the pregnancy like moms of daughters often do, she was instead going through surgery, chemo and radiation. She smiled through every treatment, never complained, was thankful for her family and was determined to meet her first grand daughter. Determined.

She worked so hard at not letting Cancer take over her life. She shopped for beautiful baby things. She planned a baby shower. She celebrated 1/2 way through chemo with a girls weekend at the beach. I was there when she shaved her head because the inevitable was fast approaching. I helped her pick out her wig and sat with her through long chemo sessions. She fought long and hard.

I remember sitting with her through those chemo treatments, my Dad, my Sister and I just praying. Her one wish was to be able to be in the delivery room. Chemo dictated her life then. And it was so hard on her body, although she rarely let us know. She felt awful the week after a treatment and was susceptible to anything and everything. She prayed that Ella would come on a day that she was feeling good so she could be there. It's all she wanted. But the reality was that it probably wouldn't happen.

Miss Ella was due at the end of July. July 24th to be exact. My mom was scheduled to have chemo that week, of course.

Everyone prays for an earlier delivery, even if it's just a few days. No one prays for it to be delayed. But Ella wasn't ready. She wanted to meet her Nannie and she (finally) came into the world on August 1st, 2008. A day when Nannie was feeling amazing and was beyond ready to meet this little girl. Believe me, so was I. A week at the end of July/beginning of August is more like a month.

My Mom beat breast cancer. She fought long and hard but she beat it and I will never take that for granted. Cancer is no stranger to our family and we have so many fighters among us. That day was such a special day for me. You never forget the day your children were born but the story is etched in my heart forever. I don't just celebrate Ella, but I celebrate having my mom here with us, cancer free. And for that I am so thankful.

Happy Birthday Beans.

We love you more than you could ever even possibly know.

You're full of strength and beauty and what a bright light that you are in this world for all that love you.

Especially, Nannie.